"Going to hell in a handbasket"

The title is a direct quote of almost every ones father. At least it is of mine. I can recall clearly mine lamenting the firing of the Sputnik into orbit. " Its going to screw up the weather". I'm not sure but maybe it is responsible for "Global warming"?  There is no doubt that during the time that I have occupied my space in this world there have been a lot of changes, both in thought and material things. Being a lot like my father, (shudder) its best if I just stick to the material things.

At the time of my entry in this world, being self sufficient was a worthy goal. I can fix or build almost anything except cars. I can hunt and shoot straight. I can care and cure the meat that I obtain. I can, if necessary live off the land. Most of the more recent arrivals in this world would be hard pressed to do much of anything to care for themselves or function without a cell phone.

The first toy that I ever saw that caused a mouth open awe within my young mind was a moving "car" that consisted of a thread bobbin ( My Mother sewed our clothes) with a match stick for a fulcrum, a rubber band for power, and a little flat piece of thin soap for lubrication. You could wind it up and set it down and it would move perhaps four feet across the floor. The next one was a little tiny "submarine" that you could put baking soda in a little depression in the bottom. Put it in a fish bowl and it would sink to the bottom. The Soda would react to the water and cause the sub to rise until the bubble got so big that it would roll out the side and the sub would sink again. I got it in a cereal box I think. (Not sure how many of Mom's goldfish perished due to soda contamination.)  Now I have a drone ( that technology has already made obsolete, that will rise to a height, that  I can program on my computer, hover, then land by its self. ) that I use to exercise my Falcon.

I am sure that if you have had time to reflect, without interruption from your cell phone, you have already noticed that the world has changed dramatically in the last decade or so. I have always been in awe of the change that our forefathers went through during the 1900's and the introduction of the automobile. This one, while not yet fully blossomed, will make that change insignificant, in comparison.

Now I have always enjoyed change and have never felt threatened by it, but I am getting a little concerned about my car. I pride myself on my ability to drive. I think driving is being threatened. Soon all of us will have ( shudder) self driving electric cars. Who am I going to yell at?

One of the compromises that we had to make when we decided to move to the remotest part of Oregon was that we would always need to have good reliable transportation. Karen is a bit "high maintenance" as far as her medical condition goes, so every time that our old cars value and our balance owed, match up, I trade it in for a new one. Mechanics are few and far between here. (Consider that our mailing address is Jordan Valley, and the town limits are 52 miles away, and that consists of a service station, cafe, and a motel. )

This spring the payoff matched what we owed on our 2015 Subaru, so we traded it for a 2017 model. Now I really didn't pay all that much attention to all the bells and whistles on it, being more concerned on mileage per gallon, comfortable seats, ( its two hours to Wally World )and room for the hawks and Dogs. Yeah it had "eyesight" front and back as well as the sides. Might be handy as we get older and our attention wanders. Other than that I didn't pay too much attention. Of course it has its "devious, rebellious bitch" in the navigation system that just loves to pretend that she doesn't know what I am asking. I gave up talking to the last one, and I don't intend to start with this one, thank you. So anyway the car handles good, gets good mileage, and is comfortable.

The first indication that there might be more to this thing than I realized was that it makes an irritating noise and an indication in the middle of the speed dial if I even get close to the white line or the dividing line. Well, I conceded that might be a good thing, except that Karen when she drives has a tendency to be a little "jerky" with her steering and the noise keeps me awake.

Then there was the "eyesight" feature. I had thought that was a good thing, right up to the time a tumble weed came rolling across the road and the damn car slammed on the brakes. Then I found out that you can't turn around if there is a Sage bush any where within 12 feet of the rear bumper. I have always been careful to not park over any flammable material when I use the car for Hawking trips, now I have to find a place to park where there is no Sage behind me as well, or I can't get out.

Now I do like the newer cruise control. It has a feature that slows down when you come up on a slower vehicle, and then speeds back up when you go around him. Of course you have to turn on your turn signal or the car makes a rude noise when you cross over the dividing line. It also brakes when you are going down a hill, so that you never go faster than what you set into the cruise control. Of course it fights you a bit when you want to pass and forget to take the cruise control off.

While on a trip and bored as usual, I began to wonder what else some of those buttons were for. It was night, and this car has several choices for headlights. One is on all the time, there are two "auto"positions, and the other goes from "driving" lights that are reduced but still on. So I turned it to one of the Auto and was surprised to see a little Green "headlight" illuminated. I asked Karen if she had ever seen it? and of course she hadn't. It was too dark to dig out the "book", which is the size of a novel. ( real men don't read instructions! That's Karen's job.) So I shrugged and continued on. Soon a car approached from the other direction, and the lights dimmed! After a short "what the hell", the car passed and the lights went to bright again. Of course Oregon is one of those states that want to keep you informed and some of the signs are so big and so reflective that the car thinks that it is another car coming and you go down the road sending out Morse code.

Then on one of our road trips to Richards for Rabbits, I was still trying to find the button that will allow me to back up, and I see a little car with a white line on either side, on the steering wheel. I think " Maybe this will shut the damn thing up about lane changes", so I pushed it on. Nothing! A bit further down the road and I begin flirting with the white line. It still makes noise, but wait, I felt something in the steering wheel. I try it again and yep, there is a nudge away from the line. So I take my hands off the wheel and let it go where it wants. It gets close to the white line and it nudges the car back into the lane. It goes to the yellow line and the same thing happens. I look to Karen and ask if she would like to play cards, and remark that I hope that this thing knows where to turn. Then the cheeky bastard flashes a sign on the dash to "KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL". Must be that broad in the navigation system. At least she didn't yell at me.

I'm still thinking that progress is good, and marveling at all the programming some poor bastard had to do to make all that happen. Then a light goes on in the dash telling me that we have a low tire. So I get out and look. I can't see that anyone is lower than the other ( its very sensitive, perhaps even clairvoyant) so I decide to keep an eye on it. Eventually after about an hour of humping up and down hills, its obvious that it is the left rear tire. I drag out a compressor pump and pump it back up. We did that at least three times during the hunt. We got on back home and I decide to wait until Karen goes to get the mail, ( it comes three times a week. I told you we live a bit remotely) The tire was way down again, so I decided to change it for the little toy tire that you get for a spare, and Karen decided to go to Jordan to get it fixed.

While she was gone I fired up the computer, and find I have an email from the Dealer telling me that "Subaru Starlink" tells them that I have a low tire???????? Nosy bitch ratted me out!  Of course the tire is already changed, but Karen tells me that its now complaining that it is low on Washer fluid, so I put a gallon in it. This morning I get this-

 " We have been notified by Starlink that you are low on windshield washer fluid, we can help you with that."

While all of these things are marvelous innovations that can make our lives easier and even safer, I worry about our kids. Every one of them now has a College education and cannot pour piss out of a boot that has the directions on the heel. Every time I get in my truck which is a 97 model, I have to think, Wait, this one requires participation to safely get somewhere. Our lives are changing and as long as the power for the toys flow, we will be just fine. How are they doing in Puerto Rico with no power and no cell phones? Its really too bad that we, the old ones, cannot see what a mess you guy's are making for yourselves, and if you can remember how to get out of it.

Here wash your mind with these:

Some things still know how to work for a living.