Senior dating redux:

As you can imagine I have had several comments about this blog. One that both tickled and amazed me was that if I would send him a picture of me holding the Burns paper and show my left man boob, he would send me $5.oo. What the hell, here goes.

                                       If you need to wire it, I can give you the routing number.

                                                       I am hoping for a cessna 182.

On Line dating, or the search for the elusive new partner! Rated risque.

I been a bit quiet for several reasons. One, I am doing very little because of the time of the year, and two because I have been busy trying to find someone who could possibly live with me, and of course dodging scammers. Spring is coming however, the weeds have really greened up over here.

 I have heard all my life from my female acquaintances about how unscrupulous some men are, and how men treat them as "meat" or prey. I of course have at first hand noticed how unwilling most women are to share the bounty that nature has bestowed upon them, being occasionally a bit unscrupulous myself. Prior of course to meeting Karen. Ahem! At this point I am beginning to resemble the Gazelle surrounded by hungry lionesses. I feel your pain ladies.

As I mentioned this post is likely to touch on subjects best not discussed if you still live with your mother, So Barbara if you are reading this- quit!

A bit about myself before I get too far. I am secure enough in my own mind that I don't have a problem sometimes looking foolish. We all are, on occasion. The difference is that I don't mind exposing my failings all that much, if fact I find them pretty funny. I can still out do and whip most of you so its just not that hard on me to be honest and see the humor in  my failings. If my honesty can lead others to see some of themselves in my "comedy" then good! If not, that's your problem.

Probably other than the obvious fact that I am 74, (an age when most sensible men are sitting in their rocker watching sit coms.) live in the most remote part of Oregon, and have a house that will go to a reverse mortgage company when I die. This might have a bit to do with my success rate, maybe not. The rest of my problem is the plane that I have. My plane, Dart, is a one and half seater. As such I can only carry a passenger that weighs less than 150 lbs. Have you any idea how scarce 150 pound women are of my age group? I have about decided that I need to start a "go fund me" page to enable me to buy a bigger plane so that I can branch out on my search.

Now most of you know that I have been seeing Connie most of this last year. She is a lot of fun and I would take her in a minute if she would have me, but I am not enough for Connie. She still has a bit of "fiddle foot" in her make up and besides, she doesn't want to live here. Her year is already planned, and if you are in Glacier Park and later  Grand Canyon, this year you may see her.

So my only recourse is to try another online dating site. I've been through Match, and two sessions of Farmers only. I did meet one nice lady on Match, but she didn't want to live here either. I met Connie on Farmers and she has been a godsend, but alas, considering Connie's plans, I still am looking. I met another gal on Farmers, after Connie and I began to see each other, that quite frankly seemed to be too good to be true. She was gorgeous, and professed to be madly in love with me. At about the same time there was another gal in her fifties of all things, whose idea seemed to be that a 74 year old couldn't last all that long and when I died she would own her very own Stud ranch for her 7 horses. She called me on the home phone and was pretty bossy, and actually so down right scary that I hung up on her. You might say that I was rude.  Her main problem was that I knew Connie. I did let her call me right back and  let her call me the last expletive however. Whew, that one wore me out.

I met another, that to this day I cannot say if she-he was scamming me or not. Either she is real, or a damn egotistical ass that cannot believe that ?he? cannot convince an old dottering fool to part with his "life savings". I was suspicious from the vary start, because she fell all over me, and she said just the vary words that I wanted to hear. This went on for quite a long time. She was an interior decorator that worked out of her home, a widow. She had a big contract coming that would allow her to do as she wished, was willing to move, every thing I wanted to hear. Then all of a sudden her accounts were hacked and bank account emptied, she was in the middle of full filling a contract that she had already been paid for, could I send her some money. I was sad, but I had been expecting it. So I decided to see how it was going to turn out, I was a bit bored any way, so I explained to her that I would not send money to someone that I had never met. Of course that was "terrible" how could I not trust her enough to give her money. I expected her to move on, but in a few days she contacted me again.

One of the "interesting facts" besides the fact that she was a mute but could hear, (that way I couldn't talk to her )  was that her phone's camera didn't work. She could however still text. She had all kinds of pictures of a very luscious ( Dottering fool talk for beautiful senior citizen) woman. Those however were pictures on her tablet. She never explained whether or not her tablet had a phone, but any way, gobs of great pictures, and she would have fit into my plane!

So for a while the talk on text were consistent with nagging, and the ones through email were flowery and sometimes suggestive. Now I have long ago learned my lesson, and I avoided any mention of a sexual nature. Then after a while, she gets almost done, but has one more expense to finish and is willing to settle for 5 K.  Part of that is to be the ticket that will bring her into my arms. She is in Georgia, so I ask her the address where she is working. Another blow up about how I don't trust her. Hell I don't trust my brother, and I have known him for a lot longer than her.

I have nothing better to do than have all this crap running circles in my head, and I began to rationalize, that maybe she is real, so I send her another text. I had been asking her to supply me with a picture that would verify that it was current. Pissed again, "don't trust her"!

 So during this time I try "Ourtime", and on the first day I get four women in their late 60's and early 70's that would make any woman of that age green with envy, and they all love my profile and are willing to relocate and think that I am so very hansom. They will each fit in the plane as well.  Now, I have a mirror and I have to look in it when I shave. I have never seen this fella that they are talking about.

Each and every one of them loves the outdoors and likes to cuddle! Damn, how could one guy be so lucky? At least two of them are interior decorators that work out of their home and I don't think either one of their phones do any thing more than text. Hummmmmmmmm!

This was on March 31st that I signed up, and one of them has already asked me for money to fulfill their pending contract that they ran out of funds for. I'm wondering if she might be a relative of the first gal, maybe they could pool their efforts and be more effective? She had sent me a page of 30 questions to get to know me better. I of course answered it.

So today another one of them sent me a page of 30 questions for me to answer so she could get to know me better, Strangely enough her answers were the same as the first gal. So I just copied and pasted the first ones email to her with the questions that I had answered. She? is probably mad at me!

So in the mean time the original gal and I began "talking" again, and this time she had gotten her contract for well over 3 M, and she was so happy. This time in her happiness that we were back together again she was a bit risque in her texts, and of course the pictures in my head were the stuff of fevered hormonal teenage dreams, but way back in my head was this little guy of reality, going but,but,but, wait! Is there really any woman that wants to do that to you? Has there ever been? Can't remember if there was. Almost to the last I have never known a woman like that. I have been around a while, odds are that it would have happened at least once during all that time.

Anyway I began to believe her again. With reservations, but it was possible that she was real and I would have to apologize for not believing. She in the mean time in coming back home had gotten her daughter to take some pictures of her to send to me to prove that she was real. I ask her for one with a calendar so that I could tell that it was current, but I didn't want her to smile in it. After quite a while I got the picture, but with the same radiant smile. She explained that she smiled because it wouldn't be "photogenic" to not smile. The date from the camera was about three days off, but plausible. Then the next day I got another picture with her holding a sheet of paper with the words "Trust me Larry" the page was a bit close so I couldn't really tell if it was real or not, but it was very plausible. Then it turns out that they are going to inspect her warehouse and some of her machines were faulty and she needed 3,500 before the fifth to fix them. Imagine that! So here we go again. In a stroke of ?brilliance? I told her that all of her pictures were of her radiant smile and this time I wanted her to take a picture with no smile and one breast exposed (see Barbara, I told you to not read this.) I figured that if she was indeed real and could manufacture a picture like that immediately she could actually be real and I would send her the money. Well she was of course outraged, and said, she didn't do nudity. I told her it wasn't nudity and after what she promised to do every morning, it didn't seem like such a big deal. She of course refused, said I was mean. I told her good bye and blocked her, or who ever she is.

So the moral of all this guy's, is that you should get down on your knees and thank the good lord that you have a woman that will tolerate your worthless ass. Cherish her and take care of her. You do not know the blessing that you have.

If any of you happen to have some spare change  to go towards a two seat airplane, I could lower my sights to a bit more realistic type of woman.

The circus continues!

March 6th, 2019

Today was Karen's birthday, but who the hell pays attention to things like that? Its a bit funny, I always confused Karen's Birthday with my Mom's which was the 9th of April. So I would miss Karen's birthday by 3 days, which of course made her very happy with me. Now when it doesn't matter I can't forget. Life and the human mind is a very funny thing.

I shall from now forward think of this day as High Desert Spring. It has of course been slowly creeping up on us here, but today the signs were unmistakable. I now have lots of time to pay attention to the little things of life that one can easily ignore when the drama of every day life intrudes upon our conscious thoughts.

Monday there was a skeen of about 40 Geese heading North just at the limits of sight as the day faded to black. I wondered where they started from on that morning. There was a good tail wind at their altitude and it didn't take long for their calls to fade to nothing. My neighbor to the South has been catching some of the Starlings that have descended on his ranch. They are replenishing my summer food supply for the Hawks. Today was the first day that I have seen one here at the house.

I went to the hot tub just after daylight as is my habit. Today I left the jets off and just sat in the water and listened and watched. The morning was foggy. The creek had a layer of fog on it that almost came up to the house, a bit skimpy, but somehow comforting. I watched a single jet drawing an arrow in the sky and as usual the sound didn't catch up until he was directly overhead. In the early mornings the birds begin to greet the day as the morning brightens, and today there was a call that I had not heard for some time. The Say's Phoebe was back. They nest under the porch and hunt off the coat rack for the tub. Then I heard a Kingfisher down at the creek. The two Red Tails were cleaning out their nest for the first time as well. Then it finally dawned on me- Spring is coming! Apparently that realization must have become apparent to the Coyotes as well since they began to greet the new day with howls of glee. The joy of their sing along was lost on Brick (the love bug) as he began to look over his shoulder and "burf" in warning.

It has been a mild winter for sure, for me at least, but I am ready for the renewal of spring. Of course its not all over, but the light is visible at the end of this tunnel. Take the time to stop and pay attention to the little things around you. Not the obvious distractions, but the little signs of nature that tell you to cherish what you have, strive for better, and above all love those around you.

More Steen's, different day

I made a trip down to 12 mile to visit a friend and other neighbor Richard. He is only about 25 miles away. Almost "right next door".

The Steen's is always different and worth the few pictures that I take of  it. Just sitting around today and a bit bored, so I thought that I would share. Don't just look at the mountain, some of the foreground is pretty interesting as well

Click on the pictures and they should come up full size.  Although they appear alike, they are not. Each has its own subtle shading.

These guy's are a bonus. There were several herds of them along the road.

Road trip- Steen's Mtn

This is normally what I see of the Steen's in the winter. 

John Hauck came to visit with me for a while. It was a real blessing because Feb can be a bit of a downer at the best of times, especially if you are alone with little to do, ( by that I mean actually required to do something). I am both amused and a bit sad that all either of us wanted to do was relax, go to the Hot tub, complain about the human affliction, Political stupidity. We had a hell of a relaxing time however, in spite of my guilt trip.

Connie also came down Thursday, and go with us to the airport on Friday. On the trip back home I asked her what she wanted to do on Sat. She decided that she wanted to see the Steen's from the East side, especially in winter. It was a 175 mile round trip, up Hwy 78 to Mann Lake Road, down to Fields and back across the White Horse Road to Hwy 95 and home.

Below are the pictures that I took. The lighting tended towards the dramatic, but I like them. Hope that you do as well.

I've got to admit that this one blew me away. I had stopped in the road to take a couple of pictures. This guy obviously worked for the Alvord Ranch. He slowed as he started by me, and began to slow down to help me if needed. I held up my camera to show him that my stop was intended. He apparently was a very helpful guy, since he seemed to be a pretty smart guy, and very busy. I would have loved to see how he managed to load that cow on the open back of his truck. Perhaps it was a pet cow with separation anxiety. 

I first thought these were "feral" Horses, until I noticed that they had roached manes.

It was good to get out of the house a bit. The roads were pretty good. I was surprised that they didn't have any snow really.

I stopped at Fields store in search of some snacks. Every thing that I wanted was in BIG bags. The store is under new management and the guy is ex military, and very abrasive. I asked if I could get a scoop of ice cream to go. He in a large voice announced that "they served milkshakes, and that is what they make. SIR"! That and the fact that they are selling gas at 4$ a gallon. 5 for non Ethyol, convinced me that I didn't need to give them my business no matter how rarely I be would stopping there.

Whoda thunk it?

I made a trip to Boise this morning and had just crossed the state line into Idaho when I saw a white Rabbit lying in the road? I of course whipped a U turn and went back to make sure that my eyes were not deceiving me. It wasn't busted up, so I grabbed it up and tossed it in the back of the car. At first I thought it was a Snow Shoe Rabbit, but it looked too much like a Jack Rabbit. I called a friend to verify what I was seeing and he confirmed that White Tailed Rabbits do inhabit the area. It is all burned over grassland with little to no cover. The White Tails do turn white in the winter. It is the first one that I have ever seen. I guess this one got despondent over the lack of snow cover and committed suicide on the Hwy. I can imagine his life was a pure hell with all the raptors and Coyotes chasing him because he had no chance of hiding looking like a "Eat me beacon" shining in the sun.

 He did not die in vain however, Hope will appreciate the change in diet.

Coyotes and Sunrises

Things have been a bit slow. The winter this year is the best ( for me) that I have witnessed since moving here in 2006. It is the pits for the ranchers who need water and growing grass however. I suppose the old saying "Its an ill wind that blows no one ( or "Nobody", can't remember) any good". There has not been a single morning that got colder than 7 degrees. Normal would be a couple of weeks of -20. It hasn't really rained or snowed either. Perhaps an inch at a time is the most that we have gotten. The good news is that I am reading - a lot!

About 2 weeks ago the rancher whose land surrounds me pulled a dead Cow back up in the Sage across the creek from me. It is common for ranchers to drag their dead Cows back out of the way. It keeps the Coyotes away from the rest of the herd, and calving season will soon be upon us, so they wouldn't want all those Coyotes that will congregate to dine on the Cow, getting used to eating in the middle of a bunch of new born calves.

I had been gone when they did it, and was surprised when Josie, my Britt began her warning "burfs" at invading Coyotes. She doesn't bark, merely the quiet little burfs. I am surprised at how well she can see a Coyote moving through the Sage at 4 and 500 yards. It sometimes takes me a long time and a good pair of bino's to figure out where it is. She is never wrong however.

 The Cow was pulled in a little draw about 450 yards away. It was out of sight of the road there, but since I was up on a rise, I could see it. I made the mistake of trying to hit some of the Coyotes that were feeding on it, and although the gun is sighted in at 300 yards, I couldn't figure the drop of the bullet, so I educated three Coyotes before I quit trying to shoot them. The problem kept bugging me, so I took the Quad over there to try to drag the body into range. A bit foolish since the cow weighed three time what the quad did. So I waited until they had eaten the top half of the cow, then Connie and I went over and drug it to the 300 yard range.

My version of a "Cow-ote". I sat in a snow storm for about 15 minutes before I got a shot.

Check out the teeth on this one. He is obviously ancient!

With the movement of the Cow and the misses that I had already done the Coyotes were a little slow to come back to feed. The Eagles, Magpies and Ravens had a field day however. Eventually they began to come back, Early in the morning and in the dark of night. The first Coyote that I shot was unfortunately in the Guts, making a mess of the hide. He died on the spot since the bullet is traveling at 4000 fps at the muzzle, and the bullet is a 40 grain frangible, that blows up on impact. I left him lying there. I noticed a Golden Eagle feeding on him later in the day. The next morning he was gone completely. Someone had taken him completely away. I never did find any parts to suggest where they had taken him.

At first I didn't really take it serious, merely trying to eliminate some of the Coyote population. I have had little luck in selling my hides, so losing interest, I began to take the Coyotes that I shot to a friend and neighbor 25 miles away for him to skin them. After the second Coyote that I shot, I began to feel guilty about it, since he is swallowed up in work, while I live the life of leisure that I so richly deserve. I was interested in having the Coyotes for Hawk food for Hope. She doesn't seem to mind the meat at all, and it is nice rich food. I can also get enough from each Coyote to feed her for at least 25 meals. The cost for feeding Jessie is at least $1.75 each meal. Quite motivating actually, and worth a little effort on my part.

The table etiquette for Coyotes is quite simple. The biggest eats first, so the first few were pretty darned big. So far all I have killed are males. This is the breeding season for Coyotes, and it has been quite noisy at night, with the females calling, and every body getting together for a group sing along. Its starting to get a little more subdued, since I have killed 6 males so far. Some where there is a young male Coyote that had been on the bottom of the breeding ladder that is thanking me. If he can just resist the lure of beef steaks, that is.

The last two Coyotes that have fallen to my rifle showed signs of fighting, with lots of skinned areas on their legs. In spite of my "culling" efforts the carcass is getting pretty skimpy. I apparently still have Coyotes as there were two of them at the carcass this morning before daylight. I have a chair and some rifle shooting bags on the top of my hot tub. I sat there for about 15 minutes this morning before it got light enough to shoot the one that I got this morning. I am thinking that I will run out of lure, before I do of Coyotes, but it has gotten a lot quieter at night.